


I Found a Reason

by LostinThisIndigoGalaxy



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: 2 kids inspired, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Paris, Author has a foul mouth, Ballet Dancer Kim Jongin | Kai, ChanBaek chaotic husband goals, Dancer Lee Taemin, Emotional support boyfriends, Falling In Love, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fuck is just a versatile word, Getting Together, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, It's ok not to wait, It's ok to wait, Kim Jongin is a sweetheart, LGBTQ Character of Color, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queer Themes, Romance, Sex Positive, Slow Burn, Taemin and Kai soft boyfriend affirmation hours, Taking care of yourself is important too, That good TaeKai uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25852609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy/pseuds/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy
Summary: -Taemin thought it was really to bad that it was socially unacceptable to kiss your neighbor the day your boyfriend broke up with you over a Velvet Underground t-shirt, for a woman. Because in that moment he couldn't imagine anything nicer than kissing this kind, soft spoken, beautiful man.-Taemin is having the worst possible day, Jongin just wants to help in any way he can.Together they might just be able forge a path that will help them both.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	I Found a Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a Velvet Underground song
> 
> We are not entitled to the private lives of Idols. If you suspect one of your favorite idols might actually be LGBTQIA+ The most respectful thing we can do is leave them The hell alone about it.
> 
> They can't freely talk about it. We should not try to force them to. Outing people, trying to out people is always wrong.
> 
> Vox Noire is feeding vulnerable black families with direct reparations. Contribute if you can.
> 
> https://checkout.square.site/pay/ede082a569ce4352b6bc30d3dd6ec00a

He still remembered when he fell in love with Paris. He was 8, he'd been dancing for two years. There was a variety show that for one reason or another, had stock footage of the Eiffel Tower on a rainy night. That was it. He didn't remember why they used the image, it didn't matter. He was in love. He imagined his own name up in lights there. He knew 'Taemin' would look awe inspiring on the Eiffel Tower.

The very second he was old enough to go wandering around without supervision, he packed a bag and off he went to dance in Paris. He knew it was an unlikely dream, but he was ambitious and very very good. He was going to make that nebulous dream come true. 

Two months after that, speaking enough French to get by but also not quite enough French yet, working a series of completely dead end jobs so he could eat, his future boyfriend appeared out of nowhere, all easy charm and good looks. 

He cringed when he thought about it now, how vulnerable he'd been, how badly he had needed to believe in something, anything. His need lead him to believe in the myth of that beautiful man for just a little to long. A man who made him feel pretty and loved at first but who ultimately saw him as another possession. Somehow over the years his own dreams, needs...his own identity always got sidelined until he barely recognized himself anymore. It made him bitter. He used to be so bright, care free, he used to believe in himself. Now he was just tired. Tired of waiting, tired of settling. Tired.

It had been two years of waiting...for what? He didn't even know what. He stared out the window into the chilly evening rain, breathing fog onto the glass. His neighbor was home. The ballet dancer. Jealousy ate through his entire being. He was supposed to be dancing not being kept as some society wife. But that was all he was allowed. 

Allowed! He wanted to scream. Taemin wished he wasn't in love with him. He wished he thought the man he'd fallen for was evil. It would have been easier. He was older, condescending, and self involved but not evil. He had barely bothered to notice that Taemin was his own person over the years. Presuming he would mold himself into whatever was demanded of him with no needs or desires of his own. 

For to long Taemin had done just that, tried to be the perfect house husband even if that was far from what he needed or wanted. Tonight was yet another night he was supposed to smile graciously for all his boyfriend's friends and family, with no regards as to his own feelings or comfort. They always touched him like he was a doll, whispered 'too pretty', as they pawed and poked. His boyfriend could never see it... chose not to see it. He always told Taemin that he was being dramatic. They just think you're handsome baby. It made his skin crawl. 

Well he wasn't doing it tonight. He just wasn't. He felt lighter than he had in months as he dug his Chuck Taylor's and his beloved old leather jacket out of the back of the closest. If he had to be miserable, he was gonna make everyone else just as uncomfortable. They owed him...well maybe nothing but he was to tired and to angry to care. He could taste his own bitterness, it didn't matter.

When it was time for the obligatory family dinner, he bopped down the stairs in his favorite Velvet Underground t-shirt, his leather jacket, and skinny jeans. He felt like himself for the first time in much to long. The jeans were designer too so fuck him anyway. It would have to be good enough. 

When he got in the car, the silence was strained just like it always was anymore. When had things gotten so bad between them? He really didn't know. He remembered that they had loved each other once, in some way. He leaned against the glass feeling the chill from the rain against his temple. 

"Taemin, what are you wearing? you can't wear that to my parent's house." 

"Why not? it's what I want to wear. It's not like they care about me anyway." 

"Babe, you can't.... shit...you know what, whatever, I wanted to wait to do this till after dinner, but since you're being difficult-" 

"Difficult? Really? Difficult" Taemin scoffed. It was just more of the same anymore. 

"Listen Taemin ok, for just once just listen, my parent's have threatened to cut me off...they want me to marry a woman, have a kid...and I'm gonna... I'm gonna do it ok? The girl, she's beautiful, nice. I've been seeing her for awhile, you know all the business trips and overtime. I didn't really expect it, but I'm in love with her and I just..." 

Taemin honestly didn't know if he was mad, sad, offended, amused, it was to much to process. 

"A woman? A fucking woman? A woman for your fucking trust fund? Of fucking course. Stop the car." Everything was raging inside him but he felt crystal clear, "Just stop the fucking car. That's enough."

"You can't just get out of the car in the middle of nowhere Taemin" he was yelling and yelling.

"No no. A fucking woman? over your trust fund? Fuck this. You convinced me to put my whole life on hold", and since his now ex boyfriend wouldn't pull over, he just opened the door and got out the next time the car was stopped. That wasn't the best idea, it didn't really go well. He ended up on the ground...and maybe he had a black eye and a bloody lip. Whatever he was free. It was worth it if he could just be free. The anger and hysterical laughter were at war in his chest. As they stared at each other through the windshield, it occurred to him that he didn't know this man at all. Fuck it. He walked away and that was that. 

But fuck if this day wasn't done with him. He had left his wallet at home, he'd been to irritated to think of it and didn't think he'd need it for a family meal anyway. So he'd have to go back. The absurdity of it...made him want to dance somehow. So he did. In the street, like when he was a kid and had the whole of his future laid out before him, carefree. It felt good. It felt fucking great. It had been to long since he'd danced anywhere but his living room. Maybe it was ridiculous but it was going to take time to get back, he might as well. 

In a weird sort of way he felt more alive than he had in ages...but he still had a hell of a lot of walking to do. Oh well. The rain on the streets was powerfully beautiful just like when he was little, so he danced.

It was dark by the time he got back, and his ex boyfriend's car was just parked there like every other day. Like he hadn't just casually ended their two year relationship on the way to family dinner over a mother fucking Velvet Underground t-shirt. 

And of course that motherfucker wasn't buzzing him in. Fuck. He jumped up on the fucking car because fuck him anyway. He hoped standing on it put giant dents in it. He yelled at the top of his lungs for his wallet. That bastard could at least give him his fucking wallet so he could get a hotel room or something. Hopefully. He didn't even have his own money. Waiting like this, the anger bubbled back up. 

A half naked woman smoking a cigarette, walked to the balcony and tossed his wallet to him. She looked bored and annoyed. Already? Already?!?!?! She seemed so comfortable. He wondered if she had been there with him before, while Taemin was shopping or running errands for him. The thought made him sick to his stomach. 

The rage, hurt, and sadness made an impossible painful knot in his soul. He wanted to say something spiteful in hopes it would make him feel better. He kicked the car instead. The first side mirror came off so easily. It felt so good he just laid down in the wet rainy road for a minute to marvel at the damn disaster his life currently was. He knew he was making a spectacle of himself, he just couldn't bring himself to care enough to stop. 

He rolled off the ground, time to crunch the other side view mirror. Knocking that motherfucker off was so satisfying he decided to kick the car door too. 

"No hey don't do that!" Someone yelled. 

It had been so long since anyone had spoken Korean around him, it took him a minute to realize what happened. It felt better in his ears than he thought possible. Maybe he missed home more than he knew. He paused when he realized it must be the neighbor. The ridiculously gorgeous ballet dancer who had also come from Korea for dance. He had hoped they could be friends at first. His boyfriend had always gotten pissy when they spoke, even if it was just to wave or say hi. Maybe their relationship had always been a little harmful for him, he hadn't been willing or able to see it back then... Regardless now here he was, the still visibly perfect dancer... while Taemin was literally wallowing in the street. Just his fucking luck. Well fuck him too if he didn't want Taemin to break the precious car. Fuck beautiful men in general. They could all go to hell.

"Oh what you don't want me to hurt his precious car?", He spun around and kicked the tire in frustration. 

The neighbor looked vexed, "Nooo I don't care about his car. No offense but your boyfriend is kind of terrible. But your foot, please don't hurt your foot. If you kick his car with those soft shoes on you could break your toes. You're much to talented to break your toes over him. I mean no one should hurt themselves over him, but especially you. So please stop. If you really need to trash his car we'll go find a big rock or something, toss it in.", The neighbor smiled a brilliant smile at him. Taemin's stomach unknotted a tiny bit. That might be even better than kicking it.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore, he left me for a woman... because I'm wearing a Velvet Underground t-shirt." No that wasn't quite right though was it, "and his trust fund." Suddenly the rage just drained out of him. He was so very very tired. 

"Well, that's his loss then isn't it? 'All Tomorrow's Parties' is a classic." The beautiful neighbor looked a bit like he wanted to reach for his t-shirt...or something, "Taemin ssi, I don't mean to be creepy or rude but it's raining and you're soaking wet. Why don't you come inside with me. I can get you some warm dry clothes and some food. We'll sort the rest out once you're feeling better." 

Taemin squinted at him, confused, "You know my name...you know I am...was a dancer? What..?" He gestured vaguely, completely worn out. 

"Oh, yeah, I don't know uhh...he yelled at you a lot, you know? So I've heard your name a over the years. I'm sorry. The dancing...I just saw. You're good. Ugh I sound so creepy. It's... look I'm a dancer to yeah? So when my horrible neighbor moved in a gorgeous, extremely gifted, Korean dancer. I noticed." 

"I remember, thinking it was cute because you'd cuss him really cheerfully in Korean and then when he asked you what you were talking about, you'd say....oh nothing baby....It was so awesome. You had so much fire, attitude, and self confidence. So yeah of course I noticed you. How could I not notice you? I'm sorry though. I didn't intend to invade your privacy....would it be ok for me to feed you... if that's ok? I can get you warm and fed at least." 

"Yeah ok" Taemin didn't have any fight left in him...and frankly he'd noticed his neighbor too over the years. He spent more than one night daydreaming about going to borrow a cup of sugar...or something, anything so he could get to know him, or at least find out his name. Oh. Wait. He looked up at his neighbor, former neighbor? Whatever. 

"Nobody yelled at you." He was so tired, maybe that wasn't quite what he meant. 

His beautiful neighbor paused in trying to coax him along with him, "I...yeah... that's true?"

That didn't work at all, Taemin tried again, "I don't know your..." He waved at his chest as if that explained. 

"Oh! Oh! Yeah ok, I'm sorry, my name is Jongin, you can call me Nini if you want." Then the most amazing thing happened. Jongin, or Nini blushed. He was even more beautiful like that. 

Taemin thought it was really to bad that it was socially unacceptable to kiss your neighbor the day your boyfriend broke up with you over a Velvet Underground t-shirt, for a woman. Because in that moment he couldn't imagine anything nicer than kissing this kind, soft spoken, beautiful man.

"Huh, Nini suits you. Thank you for helping me, when I didn't really deserve it. I would appreciate anything in the realm of dry, warm, and fed you'd be willing to spare me."

Jongin looked at him for a minute, he spoke slowly like he was afraid to scare Taemin off, "You don't have to earn help Taemin ssi. Everyone deserves that, shelter and food too." 

Taemin snorted in derision. What sort of naive nonsense was that? He was skeptical at best. It was always possible that Jongin would expect to be repaid later...but he wasn't really looking at him *like that*. He seemed genuinely concerned for his well being. Fuck it, he really couldn't turn down food and a couch to sleep on. He really hoped this beautiful man, Nini, was being honest. That he could just rest safely tonight and decide what to do tomorrow" 

Nini Nini Nini Nini, he wondered if you could have a crush on a name. He never wanted to stop saying Nini again. 

\--------

Two and a half hours later and Taemin had eaten, showered, and was putting on a pair of Nini's decadent soft, slightly to big sweat pants. He grabbed the sweatshirt, threw the towel over his head to dry his hair, and went to go find Jongin. Halfway down the hall he heard yelling and paused. His nerves were so frayed. He didn't mean to, he just froze. 

"Haeeeyyyyoo Nini, where are you? Why aren't you responding to our texts? Are you pining over the cute twink across the way again?" 

He couldn't quite hear Nini's whispered vehement response.

Cute twink? Nini liked someone? Taemin felt a pang of jealousy. Which was ridiculous as this was the first time he'd even been in Jongin's house. They barely knew each other. He had no rightful claim on him even if he wished. He shook himself out of the self pity and forced himself to keep walking. He would survive dammit. He pulled the towel off his head to see whomever had been being so loud. 

As the towel fell away, he blinked in confusion at a couple still standing in the entry way. One of them was a tall red head with an easy loose limbed demeanor, the other was about his height, a brunette who radiated controlled nervous energy. 

The taller man was the first to notice that he'd come in the room. He slung his arm over his boyfriend (?) and giggled happily, "Oh look Baeky Baby it's the cute twink across the way".

Baeky Baby turned to Jongin and stared at him in shock. Wait were they talking about him? Jongin liked him? Something akin to the tiniest sliver of hope bloomed in his stomach. Still he was not in the mood for Baeky Baby's judgement. 

Taemin snorted in open disdain, "Who are you calling a twink?" He looked Baeky Baby over head to toe, communicating fuck you too who are you to judge, as intensely as possible. For a second the room was still. The taller man broke the tension when he exploded into laughter, hanging from his (?)boyfriend's shoulders wheezing weakly

"Oh shit Baek, he called you a twink too, your face, fucking classic. Shhhhiiiit. I like you cute twink across the way, you're funny." 

That seemed to rouse Jongin from his horror induced fugue state, "His name is Taemin. His boyfriend threw him out, and you have no right to judge someone else for being over skinny Baekhyun Hyung. So maybe you should stop pouting and introduce yourselves." 

Taemin cheered internally, his hero, while he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. It was nice to have someone supporting him instead of picking him apart. Baekhyun cocked his head and stared at Jongin for a long minute, like he saw something written there that no one else could. 

Baekhyun's laugh was warm and loud, "Yeah yeah ok, you got me there Nini. If it weren't for Channie dragging me to the gym I'd be your standard issue gay, gamer, basement dwelling phantom all day every day" Baekhyun and Channie laughed at that, much harder than necessary it seemed to Taemin. Maybe it was some inside joke.

"Taemin I hope you can forgive me for getting a little over protective of my spot as family diva and our little baby bear here", Baekhyun smiled sheepishly and laughed at himself. Taemin squinted at Baekhyun. He suspected that he was being handled at least a little, but somehow he wasn't even upset. This dude was comprised almost entirely of pretty charisma... extremely loud pretty charisma. 

"I'm sorry Taemin ssi....I... Baek is bad at expressing his feelings, teasing is kind of his love language. But he will behave won't he Baekhyun Hyung?" 

Baekhyun had the decency to look slightly embarassed, "Hey my middle name is behave. I'll be great" he made the cutest pouty face Taemin had ever seen. 

Channie, pulled Baekhyun to him and practically rested his chin on top of Baekhyuns's head. Baekhyun seemed shockingly relaxed about being used as a chin rest, "On behalf of my husband, I apologize Taemin ssi. I'm Chanyeol and as you've heard this is Baekhyun." He nuzzled his husband, "Baek Baby we talked about this already your middle name is my precious loudmouth pain in the a-" Baekhyun cut him off with a shout and a kiss.

After they broke away from each other Chanyeol wrapped himself more tightly around Baekhyun, "Tell the nice young men bye Baek, it turns out we have a very important previous engagement" he dragged Baekhyun out of the apartment. Baekhyun was frantically mouthing "text me" at Jongin, complete with dramatic pantomime. 

When the door closed they could both clearly hear Baekhyun whine, "but I wanted to see if they were gonna fuck". 

Chanyeol laughed at him, "Shit baby, you're the worst. Come on, I know we can think of some way you can be a pain in my ass instead." 

Baekhyun yelled again, "heyyy I'm the best and you know it, that's why you love me so much. Why didn't you say that earlier? We're wasting time. Cooommmmmeeee onnnn!" It sounded like Baekhyun was dragging Chanyeol away like it had been his idea all along. 

He remembered Jongin then, who looked deeply mortified. He mumbled, "Performers?" in Taemin's general direction, cringing. 

Taemin laughed harder than he had in he didn't even know how long. He had to sit down, "No no it's fine, fine. All my friends are performers too...or, I guess when I had friends they were. Well that's way to depressing to think about right now. Anyway, I totally get it. They seem great honestly. They're really funny and obviously love each other a ton. It's nice to see couples with that level of emotional intimacy and trust in each other." He sighed awkwardly as he remembered his predicament. 

Jongin seemed to understand without Taemin saying explicitly. He was glad, he was to tired to talk anymore. 

"Netflix? Or umm I don't know if it would be interesting to you at all," Jongin blushed again. He was unbelievably gorgeous, "I have some reviewing to do, if it would not be to boring for you?" Nini asked with more than a little hope in his voice. 

"I would love to do that, I mean my field is different obviously, but watching, well I'd just love to watch you dance." Neither of them commented on the other's blush.

They sat on the couch together, not so casually touching. Taemin thought it was probably good he was so tired, it dulled his nerves a little. Taemin felt a little reckless as he leaned into Nini just a little more as they watched.

'Its been so long since I've danced Nini. Today was the first time in a long time. How did I let him do that to me? How did I let me do that to me? No wonder I was so miserable." Taemin willed himself not to cry on this man who had helped him so much for no reason other than it was the right thing to do. 

"Hey, no it's not your fault. People like that they wear you down. It wasn't your fault Taeminnie" Nini froze as the nickname slipped out of his mouth. When Taemin didn't correct him, he took Taemin's hand and pulled him out of the couch, "come here. I want to show you something." Jongin led him through the spacious apartment. In what Taemin had assumed was a spare bedroom was a small dance studio. He stared in awe. 

"You have your own dance studio in here", he was astounded by this apartment, by Nini, "You're not just any ballet dancer are you?" 

"Not exactly? But!", Nini changed the subject quickly, "You can use it any time you like while you're here." 

"While I'm here?", Taemin startled at what he thought he was implying, "are you saying I can stay with you for awhile?" 

Jongin looked offended, "Well I'm not going to leave you on the street!" 

Taemin didn't know what to say, so he hugged Jongin, who was a little shocked but returned the hug with a fierceness. 

This was actually pretty all right. 

\---- 

The next morning it was time to have an awkward conversation about what would be next for Taemin. He figured he could get a job waiting tables or something until he could get a place of his own. 

Jongin was absolutely insistent that it would be bordering on amoral to put such a good dancer in customer service limbo. He offered to get Taemin an audition at just about any dance company in Paris. He was after all not just any ballet dancer...and now that he knew his name he realized he was aware of Kim Jongin Primo Ballerino. Honestly he should have made the connection sooner. He had been to lost in his own misery. 

Finally they came to an agreement of sorts, Taemin would take six months (though secretly he knew he would need a year, but he wasn't in a position to make demands) to get himself and his craft back into shape. His focus would be dancing, dancing, and dancing. Taemin insisted on helping with house stuff since he would not be working at least initially. Jongin told him it wasn't necessary for him to work at all, he had plenty of money for both of them but Taemin had just gotten out of a bad relationship that was at least partially poisoned by dependency. He was not doing that again. 

Not that they were together! But he could hope right? Sometimes when Jongin looked at him with a particular intensity he thought maybe his growing feelings were reciprocated. When he saw him moving heaven and earth to help one of his friends he knew that Jongin was really just that kind and easy to love. Sooo he didn't say anything, not yet anyway. Maybe when he was back on his feet. Maybe then.

\------ 

For the first month Taemin barely left the dance studio in Jongin's flat. He spent every waking moment in there. Occasionally he would fall asleep on the floor only to wake up a couple hours later achey and disoriented. Half the time he didn't even go to bed, just got up and started again. He felt a monumental amount of pressure on himself to catch back up, to prove he was still great. To prove to himself that Jongin's faith in him was well founded. 

The last time he had fallen asleep on the studio floor he had woken up with a worried Nini perched over him. He gently brushed the hair out of Taemin's face and carried him to his bed (which was a thing he had now). Jongin tucked him in, and hummed some tune that seemed vaguely familiar. 

He had finally run his body so ragged he'd crashed. He was so sleepy, he couldn't really shake it off. Nini sat on the edge of the bed affection mussing Taemin's hair with dance nimble fingers. It was all so lovely. He felt so protected, he rolled onto his side and wrapped his limbs around Nini's waist, mumbling happily, "nice-nice-nice- sweet-sweet-sweetest-nini-my-sweetest-nini-nininininini". It all seemed so otherworldly that he assumed it was a particularly embarassing dream until he got a text from Jongin the next day asking if he was feeling any better. That was real? He was so embarrassed...and something else. Wistful? Maybe?

He was however very pleased to discover that no matter how much he was secretly pining, Jongin really did *just* want to help. Not only did he not try anything with Taemin, he always gave him a wide berth. Like he was worried Taemin would run away if he got to close.

Running was not at the top of the list of ways he was afraid he would respond if Jongin was ever close enough to touch, but he appreciated the respect. It had been a long time since he had felt like anyone really respected him. For that first month Jongin was gone almost all the time. Most mornings Taemin woke up after Jongin had already left for the day and went to bed before he got home. 

It occurred to him that maybe Jongin was gone all the time because he was staying with a boyfriend. Or maybe he was just trying to give Taemin space? He tried not to worry about it. It really wasn't his business and the spectre of jealousy there embarassed him. It had been weird being in the big apartment alone. He felt more than a little adrift. After years of minimizing himself for his ex, it was good to be alone. It gave him time to remember who he was, what he wanted. It gave him time to figure out his own plan. He wondered if somehow Jongin knew that. He was determined to do what he set out to do. He could be his own person again. It was what he needed more than anything. He kept dancing.

He had been there for five weeks the day he noticed his ex and his brand spanking new girlfriend/fiance were moving. Well....that was great right? It had been uncomfortable for them to be right across the street this whole time. It reminded him of to much. But somehow, even though it was great news, it caused him to emotionally tailspin. He didn't even know why. The moving trucks made everything so undeniably real. He never wanted his shitty ex back but he still couldn't stop the bone leaching cold in the pit of his stomach. 

His phone bleeped a plaintive request at him, It was Jongin. He didn't know how he always knew when something was wrong with him. It was these little things that kept his weird hope alive. Maybe someday. 

\------

Sweetest Nini

Hey, are you ok?  
.

Not really, but how did you even know?  
.

I saw the moving vans this morning before I left.  
.

Ohh so you do still live here? Imagine that. So fancy. 

I don't even know why I am so upset. I don't want him back. I'm happier here than I have been in months, years maybe. 

Dancing i mean. Haha  
.

Hey it takes time to mourn things even when they ended poorly, even if we are mourning what we thought we had rather than what ended up actually being there 

I'm glad you're happy here. You deserve it and it selfishly makes me really happy too.  
.

I find you suspiciously wise. Do you have any faults at all? All this perfection is aggravating.  
.

Haha yes I have plenty faults. For instance, I'm a workaholic.  
.

Nope that doesn't count. You're a dancer. We all are. Nature of the art  
.

Ok fine. I am really moody when I don't get enough to eat, I'm clingy apparently, and Baekhyun Hyung always says I fall in love like most people fall off logs.  
.

That's weird, do people fall off logs a lot?  
.

Well, not in my line of work. But ummm mostly he's talking about college. I was a mess in college. Poor sad little baby gay. It was a horror show I promise, and since Baekhyun had to put me back together every time...well I guess he's earned the right to tease.  
. 

Wait I just realized that you did one of those fake flaw maneuvers. Passionate is not a flaw, especially in dance. Wth?  
.

Well, how about this, we can eat dinner together tonight, so you aren't laying around moping alone, and you can decide for yourself what my flaws are.  
.

Wait I figured it out. You're to giving. That's it 

That would be really nice thank you.

\------------

So Jongin brought home take out that night. They talked and laughed about anything and everything till well past either of their bedtimes. By the time Taemin stumbled to bed that night, he realized the heavy cold sensation in his stomach had been tentatively replaced with something light, fuzzy, and warm. 

He refused to think about it. Hopefully if he ignored it long enough the feelings would go away. 

They started eating meals together more regularly though. It was really wonderful, domestic almost. Taemin was starting to remember what it felt like to be him. 

When he had been there for 11 weeks, Jongin asked him if he would be comfortable with sharing the studio with him, at least some of the time. The space he had been using would be unavailable for awhile. As if he had to ask for his own studio space. It was ridiculous, but Jongin was ridiculously kind, patient, and considerate so he asked. 

The studio was just big enough for the two of them to practice in. Though sometimes things got a little hectic. The first morning he walked into the dance studio to find Jongin glistening with sweat and in the middle of a practice run of whatever he was currently working on, he was floored. He knew intellectually that he must be a stunning dancer. But knowing and seeing for your self were two different things. The fact that he was wearing simple work out clothes just accentuated how beautiful the dance was, how beautiful Jongin was. For a minute he forgot he was there to dance too. 

When Jongin took a break to drink water and catch his breath, the radiance of his smile in the depths of his element, glowing with exertion, doing the thing he loved most in this world, kept Taemin up for two whole nights. He was a force of nature, undeniable... Taemin didn't really want to deny him. He was becoming comfortable being in Jongin's orbit. 

When he had been there for four months he started auditioning for smaller companies. He knew he wasn't ready yet but also knew he needed to ease himself back into the game. When Jongin found out he begged Taemin to let him set up an audition at some of the more prominent companies but Taemin refused. 

If he was accepted in an audition that Jongin got him, he would never know if it was because of his talent or because he was Nini's, pet. He couldn't do that to himself again. Ultimately Jongin understood how important it was for him to have his autonomy and relented. He was always so understanding. It made Taemin feel nauseous with guilt and longing. Jongin did at least pout a lot so there was that. He wasn't totally perfect. Taemin wished Nini wasn't so fucking precious when he was pouting. It brought that desire to kiss him roiling to the surface.

He had been there for five months when he got his first real dance job in two years. It was small and short term but he did it on his own. It was a start. He was ecstatic.

That night Jongin came home with dinner and champagne so they could celebrate properly. Later Taemin wasn't sure what had come over him. As soon as Nini set everything down, he threw himself at him. Jongin, who had a life time of dancer's reflexes swooped him up. Before either of them really realized what they were doing they were kissing....and boy was it some kiss. 

That kiss was a movie finale kiss, the kind of kiss that that ends all other kisses. A life changing kiss. For Taemin it was that kiss, the kiss. Jongin had redirected his chaotic kinetic energy into a spin. Then by instinct Taemin was entirely wrapped around him. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable but they were both strong, athletes. So holding him up, being completely intertwined it was physically nothing for them. Taemin could not imagine wanting anything more than to be completely wrapped around Jongin, kissing him like neither of them could breathe without it. Taemin wanted to eat him, press in tight and close. 

But emotionally? Emotionally it was far from nothing for Taemin. He didn't know what it meant for Jongin, couldn't presume. When Nini set him down they stood, eyes closed, foreheads together, catching their breath for a long while. Taemin took Nini's hands and held them over his pounding heart. He still couldn't breathe, their hands clasped together over his heart was the only anchor keeping him from flying to pieces. 

He pressed his face into the warm reality of Jongin's cheek, "I can't be your pet Nini. I want to, want you... I want so much to just let go and sink into the comfort of you...I think....no I'm not - I know, I'm falling in love with you. The feeling of needing you, being close to you, it feels so good, so enticing. I did that once though. I thought I could love a man into seeing me as an equal. I let myself be kept, and no good came of it. You aren't him I know that. There is to much wonder in you to be an emotional bandaid for me. You deserve everything and I can't give you anything right now. I need to be with you as your peer not your dependent. I'm sorry. I know I started this, it was kind of an accident but it doesn't matter. I'm all over the place. I'm sorry." 

Taemin took a breath, schooling his face, maybe if he looked calm on the outside, he would stop sobbing inside, "I understand if that's a deal breaker. I don't...I wouldn't expect you to wait for me. I can, I have this job now. I can go." He couldn't bear to look Jongin in the eyes when he told Taemin to leave, that he'd waited long enough. So he did what he did every time, what he had always done. He ran.

He shut himself in the bedroom that had become his over the months. The little trinkets that he had collected, dance related gifts Jongin had given him. The receipt from the first time they ate take out together tucked semi secretly into a giant table top French performance arts book. He felt like he was screaming inside, sobbing, but on the outside he was stricken, frozen. 

He had spent to much of his life walking away with nothing. Here he was again with not much more than what he had on his back. Everything here was Nini's, as if he could will himself into becoming Nini's too by association. None of this was really his, not really. It was the wreckage of Jongin's kindness, he shouldn't take that with him. It wasn't his to take. So he could go whenever...all he had to do was stand up and go. Then he would never have to subject Kim Jongin to the burden of him ever again. He wished he could cry so desperately. 

He sat down heavily in the middle of the room, unable to move. He couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? Nothing felt right. He was afraid he going to float away from his own body. Why did he have to ruin things? It has all been so precious, so perfect. He wished he could scream, or cry, or breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? 

Nini knocked lightly on the door, "Taemin ah, Taeminnie, are you ok, you're kind of scaring me, can I please come in, just so I can make sure you're ok. I won't stop you from leaving if that's what you want. But Taemin, it's not what I want ok? Please Taeminie let me come in so we can talk, please" 

Taemin rasped some sort of affirmative, he wasn't even sure what. Jongin did though, as soon as he had permission he poured into the room, kneeling in front of Taemin. Checking him all over for injuries or something. It seemed a little cruel for Jongin to be so kind if he was going to kick him out. It wasn't fair that Jongin was always so gentle and caring, and that he himself was so hungry for every drop of care that accidentally came his way. Even as his heart broke, he could breathe again as long as Nini was touching him. What a cruel irony. He wondered if he would suffocate before he had a chance to even leave the house. A home without Nini didn't seem like any home at all anymore. Wonderful sweet Jongin kept checking him over and over. 

"You can calm down, I didn't kick your car." Taemin tried to force a dry chuckle, and only managed a wet clunking sound in his lungs. 

Jongin sat down in front of him, staring at him with an intensity he recognized, but couldn't quite track. Jongin finally shook his head slowly. He carefully took each one of Taemin's hands, in his softest most Nini voice, "Lee Taemin, You are absolutely impossible and I would not have you any other way." He started to giggle though he was clearly trying not to. 

"What?" Taemin didn't understand what was so fucking funny right now. 

"You know for someone who so prizes their own autonomy, you sure are dead set on deciding how I feel for me." He squeezed Taemin's hands in a reassuring manner. 

"What?" The little bloom of hope he had been sporting for months thrashed suddenly, demanding attention. 

Jongin scooched a little closer to him, so he could bracket him with his legs, reassure him with the touch he knew Taemin found so grounding, "Taeminnie, did it really never occur to you in all these months, that I was falling in love with you too?" Jongin ever so gently cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing tactile affection into his skin. He paused to give Taemin time to respond. When he didn't Nini continued. 

"I'm sorry I scared you baby. No no, don't argue, I'm aware you kissed me first, but it's not like I didn't know that you needed to take care of you before we or you....I mean I don't want to assume it would be me, but that you needed to be able to take care of you first. I got swept up in the moment and I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry about the rest. I'm not sorry that I love you. I just do." 

"Taeminnie, it's ok if you aren't ready for sex or physical intimacy at all. It would be ok if you were never ready. I mean, it's obvious that I would-will...ahh verbal communication is not my strongest suit. What I am trying to say, is I am happy to be here with you in whatever way you can be."

"No pressure. My life is already so much more rich and fulfilling than it was before you were here. I love having you here and I love you. If that is just this then I can say truthfully that I can't imagine being more lucky. If someday you are ready for us to be different, not more, not better, just different than that will be a blessed day...but honestly every day with you is a blessed day." 

Somehow over the course of the speech they had gotten closer and closer until they were resting their heads on each other's shoulders, "You really don't want me to leave?" Taemin whispered, afraid he'd misunderstood. 

Nini sat back a little so he could look at him, so Taemin could see the honesty there, "Noooo, please don't go, Taemin ah. Please stay with me. Please...if you want to." He buried his face in Taemin's shoulder. It seemed Jongin had also felt like he'd been about to lose his whole world. 

"Ok, I don't want to go... I couldn't make myself go really. I tried but I couldn't. I thought I might have to beg you...or you know", Taemin looked away, they both understood what be meant. What to many would have expected from a beautiful young person with little to no resources. What his ex had expected. He didn't know what else to say or if that was even enough of an explanation.

He was a little shocked to hear Jongin sniffling as he sat up, red eyed, tears streaming down his impossibly beautiful face, he wiped his eyes fruitlessly, "You know for being one of the smartest people I've ever known, you sure can be obtuse. You can stop looking so shocked anytime now. You weren't the only one who felt like their whole life might be falling apart. I'm just really relieved, that's all. I'm happy crying. I was scared. I didn't know if I could convince you to stay or even if I should try if you really wanted to go...and this isn't even the first time I've cried in front of you. Do you really think you are less important to me than a tv dog?... I'm really glad you didn't want to go" Jongin gave him a half-hearted push in the depth of his intense feelings and then collapsed back against him.

"Listen Taeminnie, nothing has to change right now or ever if you don't want. Please keep going to auditions. If I spend my life getting to dance, eat, and review with you...well that sounds like heaven anyway. When you get a permanent spot somewhere, without my interference, and you will get a permanent spot somewhere without any help from me. You don't seem to understand what a phenomenal dancer you are. I really hate that he made you doubt yourself so much. Then, if you want to talk again, we can talk again, make any changes we want or need." Jongin couldn't bring himself to stop touching Taemin, holding his hands, caressing his perfect beautiful round cheeks, playing with the flyaways in his silky soft hair. 

Taemin was still a coiled ball of stress and sadness, "what if I don't ever get there?" He didn't know why he couldn't stop saying such horrible things. He hated seeing the pain in Jongin's face.

"Well then I will be supremely honored to call you my best friend... forever...or as long as you will have me I guess. I don't need to own you to love you. You don't have to love me to be worthy of my love. Nothing changes how amazing you are. I can love you from anywhere." 

Hearing Nini say it like that, that he never wanted to take Taemin away from himself, that he could and should be able to prioritize his own well being, seeing how sincere Nini was. How sincere he always was really, the clarity and gentle devotion in Jongin's face, something sharp and painful in his heart loosened up just a bit. 

"Nini, I'm so tired, can we go to bed? I think I need to sleep now" 

"Oh yeah of course" Nini looked crestfallen but started to pull away, so he could give him privacy to sleep.

"No...I know it's selfish, I'm sorry. You don't have to of course. Could you stay with me? Please. You are my best friend already Jongin, and so very much more. If it isn't to cruel I would really like you to sleep with me tonight." 

Jongin was radiant with relief. Taemin didn't really have to convince him at all, he held Jongin as closely as he dared, whispering into his cheekbone, "oh my Nini-My Nini, you really are to kind, to giving."

Jongin chuckled a wet sad sound, "I did tell you I wasn't perfect" 

Taemin scoffed, play swatting his arm, "The most annoyingly perfect imperfections." They laughed together, things felt more comfortable after that. 

This was a thing they could figure out together.

They stripped down to their boxer briefs with only mild shyness. They were both performers and had changed in changing rooms and back stages their whole lives. They were too exhausted to be worry as much as they might typically. Nini wound around Taemin with an intensity he thought would make him claustrophobic but didn't. It was comforting. They sank into each other. He felt more at ease here than he had felt in years, maybe ever. He didn't know how he had ever found this brilliant gentle man and what he could have possibly done to have earned such intense and sincere devotion. He prayed to any force in the universe that might be listening to help him treat this man with the care he deserved. Maybe someday he would stop feeling unworthy.

Taemin dreamed about coming home.

\-----

The next night, after a long day of dance practice at his new job Taemin had not been able to sleep no matter what he did. He couldn't stop thinking about how safe and warm he felt entangled with Nini. He finally gathered his bravery and snuck down the hall to Jongin's bedroom. In the past Jongin had always slept with his door closed to aford Taemin a degree of privacy. But tonight the door was open just enough. 

He tip toed quietly not wanting to disturb Nini. He was not sure if he had the courage to ask if he could sleep with him. Before he could even start arguing with himself, Jongin pulled back the covers and invited him wordlessly to lay with him. His eyes never even opened. Taemin crawled into bed with him overcome with relief. 

Nini pulled him in closer and kissed his hair sleepily. 

"I'm glad you came", Jongin whispered into the dark. 

"Me too" Taemin was lulled to sleep by Jongin's slow easy breathing. 

\--------

The next night Taemin swore to himself that he was not not not going to crawl into Jongin's bed again. It wasn't fair expecting Nini to provide him unending emotional support if he wasn't willing...able, to be more intimate with him. 

So he lay in bed, tossing and turning for he didn't even know how long. To long. He was so exasperated with himself. 

"Taemin ah? Are you awake" 

His heart leapt in his chest, did Nini really come to him? That warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach expanded to encompass his whole chest. He was very careful to keep his eyes almost entirely closed, "yeah". 

Nini took a couple steps into the room, living grace, even by the light of the moon, "I thought, if you didn't mind, I've slept better with you these last couple nights...if you don't mind." 

Taemin opened his eyes, so he could see Nini in the silver blue moonlight. Unlike Taemin he was rarely unsure of his feelings, so he supposed that what he was unsure of was Taemin. It made his heart sink to see this phenomenal man unsure of his place in the world or in Taemin's heart. Taemin reached for him, "please". 

Nini curled up in the crook of his arm, his head on Taemin's chest, and his hand held with intent over his heart. He wasn't really sure how someone who was at least 3 inches taller than him fit next to him so damn well, but Jongin did and he was glad. Nini's hair smelled like shampoo and the earthy divine human scent of Kim Jongin. They fell asleep immediately. 

\------

The next night Taemin didn't even bother to feel guilty about it. He took one look at his lonely bedroom after he'd showered and changed out of his work out gear and turned right back around. Nini's bedroom door was open again so he went right in and burrowed under the blankets happily. He pressed his cold hands and feet into Nini's back because he was just that happy. Nini flapped at him half asleep, 

"Wahh you're cold, come here." He flopped half over Taemin and pulled him in close again, burying his face in the hollow of Taemin's shoulder. Oh well yes this was even better than teasing. It was so peaceful here, it was easy to fall asleep. 

They developed a routine. They didn't go to sleep together or at the same time but every night one of them would end up in the other's bed. They didn't really talk about it explicitly but there was a casual physical intimacy between them now that hadn't been there before.

After a couple weeks of that routine, Taemin had announced that he was going to bed early because he had an audition in the morning. Nini said ok, and then followed him to bed without any of the usual back and forth. Going to bed with Kim Jongin turned out to be Taemin's new favorite thing. It was even better than squirming into his already warm bed. Going to bed together was so nice for them that they both kept doing it any time their busy schedules allowed.

Otherwise life went on, Jongin was still working constantly, Taemin was still getting himself back into peak form and auditioning for progressively bigger shows and dance companies. Every time he got a placement, they gave him rave reviews. He was slowly working himself up the dance social ladder. He was proud of his hard work in getting himself and the things he loved back into his life. 

He looked at Jongin sleeping peacefully beside him... speaking of love. For once fear didn't slam through him when he thought of the past or the future. Maybe he was ready....for them to be different. He was thinking on it intently anyway. 

The next weekend had been one of the biggest performances of Jongin's career to date. His company had been working toward it for months and months. It had been difficult to have any time to see each other outside of falling exhausted into the other's bed at 2 in the morning, for far longer than either of them cared to think about. 

They had gone to the final night of the performance together, Taemin sat in one of Jongin's official reserved seats while he got to watch Nini bring the house down. He didn't feel even a little bit like a trophy wife. There was something difficult to define that he'd been holding onto for longer than he knew. That night he felt it wash away in the warm excited gaze of the man he loved. 

Imagine his surprise when after the show, at the society wrap party, Taemin finally discovered the one thing about Nini that wasn't perfect... except he still was as far as Taemin was concerned. Kim Jongin, world class ballet dancer, Primo Ballerino, and born performance artist...was scared of people. Mind numbingly, earth shattering scared to death of people, which was exactly how he got a reputation for being mysterious and reclusive. 

They held hands as they walked into the party. The more people Jongin had to talk to, the more tangled around Taemin he became. They quickly developed a system, when someone asked Nini a question, he would look at Taemin. If he could start the conversation directed at Taemin it gave him the emotional energy to turn to whichever person and finish the conversation politely. Taemin slid an arm under his tuxedo jacket so he could rub reassurance into his back through the difficult parts. It was still tiring for him but it helped a lot. He thanked Taemin the whole way home. He swore there would probably be an article in the next days society page that theorized as to why he was actually speaking to people (he was right, there was).

When they finally got home it was very very late and they were both very tired. They collapsed in a pile on the couch, for the moment to tired to even go to bed. Jongin had untied his bow tie and unbuttoned his top two or three buttons. He looked glorious, like a deity. Taemin threw the nearest thing he could find at him, a coaster. The coaster bounced off Nini's forehead.

"Hey!" Jongin exclaimed in mock offense. 

"Oop sorry" Taemin giggled

Nini tried to pout, "I'm to tired, imagine me actually being so tired that I am out of pout. Mark this day in your calendar gentlefolk." 

Taemin couldn't stop smiling, Nini was so exceptionally wonderous. 

"Nini Baby, you're burying the lead. Hush." Jongin immediately stopped rambling, giving Taemin time to organize his thoughts. They knew each other well by now. You couldn't pressure Taemin to your will but if you were patient and mindful of his...himness, well he'd come along all on his own. At least in Nini's experience that's how it went.

Taemin was radiant and relaxed after spending an entire night with dancers. He thrived in the spotlight, "I know I've said this before under different circumstances Nini but...I love you so much. You are so beautiful and you bring so many layers of wonder and joy to my life. I've spent so much time worrying about how I can start a relationship with you on even footing, as equals. I missed the very obvious fact that I already was. I love you Nini. I have loved you and I'm tired of not living my life out of fear. I'm ready baby. I'm definitely ready. I've been thinking about it for awhile." 

Jongin's eyes got Soo big, he fussed at his fancy suit, "Taeminnie, I am so so happy that you are feeling so much better more than anything else. I'm really glad you figured that out since there wasn't really any way for me to explain it without undoing the very thing that it was and needed to be. I don't know what I'm saying I think that sentence got away from me. Lee Taemin I love you too, more than you even know. If I have permission to show you that love now, boy prepare to be cuddled, and Taeminnie I am really so excited...but I literally can not move tonight just so you know" 

"I know Nin, it's really ok. I just wanted to tell you. I was sitting here looking at you right now, you're so gorgeous and special. I just couldn't wait to tell you any longer."

\----- 

It was a little funny to Taemin how long he had worried about how sex would effect their relationship, and how little it really did. Not to say it wasn't amazing because it was. 

Fucking Nini was a lot like dancing with Nini...but with orgasms as a reward for your effort. He loved it almost as much as he loved Nini. 

But because their relationship was strong and well rooted in their friendship already, adding sex really didn't drastically change the nature of the way they were with each other particularly. They still worked to much, they still slept in the same bed, they still ate meals together whenever they could, they still talked as much as possible, they still texted each other about silly things at weird hours. 

Most importantly for Taemin, Jongin didn't all of a sudden start being an angry jerk, treating him like a possession. He remained one of the most precious, talented, gorgeous, gentle people he had ever met. He had no regrets at all. 

Not even Mr. No-Velvet, his shitty ex, could make him regret. Because that terrible relationship brought him here and gave him the perspective to see how singularly lovely Jongin really was. So he was thankful. Not thankful for the jerk but exceptionally thankful that Jongin was afraid he'd break his toes on the jerk's car. Now that he knew Nini and understood how shy he was and is, he understood how difficult and frankly romantic it had been for Jongin to approach him like that. 

That was another great thing, he really hadn't understood how difficult it was for Nini to communicate with words in the beginning. Now that they were comfortable touching each other, Jongin was always touching Taemin. There was i love you in his palms, in his arms, in his pout, in the way he danced with Taemin. It was in the way he danced for him, the way he held Taemin like he was beyond precious. It was in the way he always reached for Taemin first, always looked for him first. It was in the fact that Taemin was the only person he was truly comfortable making eye contact with. Jongin's whole body radiated love every moment of every day. Taemin was eternally thankful that he had been blessed with the opportunity to learn how to hear and speak Nini's most honest and intimate language. He felt deeply blessed and honored to be loved so extensively and thoroughly that it could not possibly be contained. 

\----

Taemin had been living his new best life for 14 months and 1 week when he got hired at an experimental modern dance company, permanently. It was the only Korean owned and directed dance company in Paris at the time. Jongin had been beyond elated when he heard the news. He 'of course' knew and was close friends with the Owner/Director Park Jimin. It was in fact the exact dance company he had been trying to get Taemin to let him arrange an audition with. He knew the Bangtan Dance Company would be the perfect environment to grow Taemin's talent and unique approach to dance. Plus he was absolutely certain that he and Jimin would be great friends. 

That night they were celebrating at home, Taemin was positively buzzing with excitement. That dream he had when he was eight was finally on the way to being fulfilled, his life was filled with people he adored. There were new friends on the horizon. His heart felt so full. He couldn't imagine anything better. 

Jongin whirled him around in the studio nearly endlessly, being whirled by one of the best ballet dancers in the world (as far as he was concerned), was an experience...and usually something akin to foreplay. This particular time Jongin set him down, covered his face in kisses and asked him to wait a minute please. He was supposed to be having ridiculously athletic victory sex. This was no time for waiting. Taemin yelled pouty impatient things at him through the house. Just when he was considering actually getting pouty, Jongin came back, practically running into the studio with a pile of... paperwork? 

"Nini what is all this?" Taemin didn't quite understand why he was so excited about a pile of forms.

"This, Lee Taemin is everything I own...which is now everything you own...I mean if you want to. You just have to sign in like a million places. It's a lot, I already did mine." 

Taemin stared in shock, "Jonginnie, when did you do all this?" 

Jongin blushed a little at that, he looked at the stack of papers so he wouldn't have to look at Taemin, but then thought better of it, "When you told me that you wanted to be with me but had to be on equal footing, so it's...it's equal footing." 

"That was months ago" Taemin whispered, his eyes were watery. 

Jongin shrugged in that casual way he had sometimes, "I've been in love with you a long time" 

Taemin couldn't stop looking between the paperwork and Jongin, "Nini, honey bear....I don't know exactly how to ask this so I'm just gonna ask. Are you umm... asking me to marry you?" 

Jongin rocked back on his heels visibly shocked, he looked at the paperwork too and Taemin, Taemin , Taemin, "Yes. I didn't exactly realize it but absolutely yes. Marry me please," Nini picked him up, whirling Taemin away with him again, "Marry me Please Taeminnie. Minnie. Minnie Minnie please marry me" 

Looking down at Jongin's radiant face, he had never wanted anything more in his life(except dance), than he wanted to marry Jongin. This magical delight of a man who somehow loved him despite everything.

"Yes, Yes, Yes I will definitely please marry you" Nini spun him giddily while they hugged and kissed and cried on each other. Taemin dimly thought it was funny that he hadn't once been able to sad cry in years and here he was happy sobbing with his future husband. Future husband. When Taemin said that out loud, Nini got very serious in the exact right kind of way. 

They had a whole lot of celebrating to do.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been so much fun to write. It basically created itself out my haze of listening to Taemin's phenomenal new single 2 Kids. 
> 
> There are at three afterwards chapters I have rolling around in my head and might do. But this felt like a good natural stopping point for this story arc.
> 
> I have a Twitter where I ramble occasionally about writing, queerness, neurodiversity, SuperM, beautiful talented artists, and music  
> [@SpaceandGlitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/SpaceandGlitter)  
> [My Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/lostinthisindigogalaxy)


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